I have had my vision...?
Friday, November 28, 2014 @ 11/28/2014 06:47:00 PM
“As for writing, I want to express beauty too…a different kind of beauty, achieve a symmetry by means of infinite discords, showing all the traces of the minds passage through the world; & achieve in the end, some kind of whole made of shivering fragments; to me this seems the natural process; the flight of the mind.”
— Virginia Woolf in an early journal, A Passionate Apprentice: The Early Journals,1897-1909
I am so grateful for all my literature modules this semester. It was everything which I had expected and so much more. I am aware however, that this moment shall pass but for now, I remain convinced that without it, I will have nothing. Be nothing. Empty.
And that's what she taught me. Nothing lasts forever. Time passes. Anything one desperately holds on will not remain forever. Now why will you need to read a bloody difficult book to understand the simple truth of that? Because it is not for the lack of trying. Because her art is a testament of the opposite. Because. Because. Because.
For me, I felt that given the choices Virginia had, she did her best. There is beauty in her efforts and her results are beautiful. Almost painful to bear because she makes me realize how much more I have to achieve. To make moments of transience, transcendental. I am in awe and humbled to be a woman in this world.
Turning twenty-one, To the Lighthouse is the book that defines this year for me. However, I also want to mention that having read T.S Eliot, John Keats, Jeanette Winterson (I am dying to meet her) and Charlotte Bronte, I am really impressed of the wealth of knowledge and potentials they have offered for me and for the world. Echoing the spirit of the modern artist when they say "art is religion", I believe it is true for me as it is for them. I want to believe.
On a side note: I am no fan of George Eliot and James Joyce.
***I am officially going Europe! I have been accepted to the University of Gothenburg in Sweden from Jan-June 2015. I am exhilarated, nervous and pessimistic. I cannot shake off the feeling that I am going to have too high expectations and end up falling flat. Before that, I must say that I am going Cambodia this December as the final conclusion to my-try-everything resolution of 2014 and hopefully, by performing service learning, it will allow me to find out more about myself and the rest of the world.