if I can't change anything about myself
Saturday, January 25, 2014 @ 1/25/2014 05:59:00 PM
I think I'm really enjoying my days before tutorials start for school. I can't describe exactly what I'm doing now except that because of my new year resolution, I'm getting myself into tons of good and some questionably good(?) events.
I had an awesome brunch with Kristy on Thursday at excessively expensive Hatched@Holland V and because she was starving, we ate everything rather rapidly without bothering to take any pictures. What a pity because I think the eggs (while overpriced) were Insta-worthy!
Head back to NUS and I managed to finish some work before going to CAPT for free dinner! Audrey was sweet to invite us over for the Ramly Burgers specials and I learned how to play Cards Against Humanity. Can't say much about that except that well...my new found friends are secretly all perverts.
Friday rolled into one huge timeless vortex. I woke up 730am and read some dated article by Davis and Moore theory about inequality. At 10am Bx and I met and learned loads from a NUS Enterprise adviser who helped us reassessed my competence in tons of different areas of business. Then I had back-to-back lectures of SouthEast Asia Studies and Sociology which were especially draining (ok the latter was slightly better because the readings of D&M @7am made more sense after the Prof went through with us) and by the time I went home for dinner with my family, I was rather burned out.
Dad was being super high and both of us started an Acapella duo in the car to the huge irritation of my mum and sister. Grandmother brought my baby cousin out as well and like the Brady Brunch we went IKEA and chaos ensued. I realized I'm not fit to look after a four year old
Ok so January is nearly ending!! (Hyperventilates! 5 more months to become an adult I must do all my stupid stuff!) Before I continue on about my Friday night/Saturday morning, let me first refer you back to my last Dec 2013 "if I can change a few things about myself" post.
So I talk about basically being more fit, more disciplined and be more open to stuff? Well screw all that. I think I must have more REALISTIC and ACHIEVABLE goals.
People are always talking about doing stuff. You know, becoming someone better, taking action. I THINK THAT'S NEVER REALLY GOING TO HAPPEN. Let me reexamine what I said:
1. Be more fit? Like WTF. I stuck to that for a while before the heat of January overpowered my weak willpower and I ended up binge eating CNY goodies.
2. Be more disciplined. HAHAHA I can't believe I actually said that. HAHAHAHAHA #timeswhenIfeellikeanidiot #completeidiot #lol #fuckingidiot HAHAHA I'm really laughing at myself. About myself.
3. Be more open to things. Ok so I want to talk a little more about this point because it is precisely of 3. that makes me feel like my life is blowing out of proportions and I'm doing strange stuff which I will never expect myself to do.
Back to Friday night. I agreed to go try out a new club with Cheryl and Janice in 3inches high stilettos. Dashed out of my house at 11pm. I'm so proud that I could dance/move/run in those. C'mon and my friends were proud of me too lol I guess we were all so amazed at my new found height and the glitter on the soles. We were on guest list of the opening of some new club which means no fees+free drinks.
Clarke Quay at night felt like a jungle. Oh and I forgot to mention we didn't just go a club we went two clubs the second at Marina. I felt 21 (5.30am outside the club). I feel 41 now as I'm typing this exactly 12 hours later (5.30pm at home in jammies). My contact lens were in my eyes for a full 22 hours (7.30am-5.30am). 10 hours past the appropriate hours.
This is really part of me trying my best to fulfill 3. Laugh all you want but saying yes to so many events is blowing up in front of my face. I am irritated, exasperated, amazed and overwhelmed by all these experiences. In fact, since the last post which I made that funny resolution of mine till today, I can list at least 20 events which I said yes to but I normally would never agree to going.
The thing is if I were to put them in a Venn Diagram between stuff that I surprisingly enjoyed and stuff I did that made me want to kill myself: there will be a strange intersection of Sets A and B. I have mixed feelings. Because if I never said yes to them, I will never have known. Like never. I will just assumed that it sucked. But sometimes they don't.
So all in all, I don't regret anything. Seriously I don't. Maybe I will after a while. (Give me some time I wouldn't be amazed if I came back and write a reply post to this post again which is also ironically a reply to my Dec post... ah ah I think I can feel my sorethroat acting up already because of the Flaming Lamborghini. *what a cheesy but highly appropriate name for an alcoholic drink* It was like drinking fire or heat. The drink literally has flames and when I drank it, my throat felt super hot and dry and as I shit this toxic son-of-a-bitch out my butthole a few hours later it is well-you get the idea. Ooooh I thought of the tittle for the reply post "if I can't change anything about myself" and the reply reply post will be "be myself" HAHAHAHA I'm so lame).
HERE's whats going to happen instead. Rather then activetly doing stuff becoming someone, I'm going to try the OPPOSITE, I'm going to NOT do stuff which indirectly will lead me to doing stuff. This is really complicated stuff and if you don't understand me, well you're pardoned.
1. Do not waste time. Every time I waste time, I shall force myself to think about this lack of action and well don't do it.
2. Do not eat. Ok fine maybe it should say "Do not eat so much" but do not eat is simpler and waaaay easier to remember than keep fit.
3. Do not have a mental breakdown.
See! Easy Peasy! Easily fulfill-able and sustainable ideas in the long run. Worse come to worse I can use my final card that is I only turn 21 on the 30th June so technically, I can do allll the stupid stuff I want to do BEFORE the 30th and then become an adult right AFTER. Exactly half a year to 50-50 child/adult. Tada! But that will be cheating myself :(