Sunday, December 12, 2010 @ 12/12/2010 02:36:00 PM
I wonder if anyone tried going out alone before? The sense of solitude when you walk down the streets ignoring the weird stares shot by others. Well, I tried that not long ago.
It was an interesting experience.
At first, I freaked out of course. But later on the weird stares and self consciousness slowly ebbed away. People don't stare at you for long. They have to mind their own business too.
I hid at a familiar place, somewhere which I never felt out of place or uncomfortable there. The bookstore :D . Somehow, holding a book on my hand or being engrossed with its contents gives me the perfect excuse to be oblivious at my surroundings. I can pretend to be invisible!
I even had the experience of eating alone. I never thought that day would come! One cannot remember when was the last time I ever dined by myself. The food seems tastier than usual and you are not forced to hold a conversation. It was just between me and the kimchi soup.
I had some slight issues again before seating down like many thoughts popping into my head. I imagined the thoughts of the other patrons, looking at me like a sea slug or something. What a loner/loser! Why is she alone? Doesn't she has friends? Who eats alone anyway?
These voices were screaming at me. Still, I had to overcome the dread. The hunger pangs win over the irrational mind.
However, you see, even when I managed to ignore this self-consciousness issue, another unexpected problem arise which was that I had nothing better else to do but to eat. The complexity of this action made me hesitate a while.
It has been a long time since I carried an act that involves just eating. Not to mention eating alone outside.
Should I take out my iPhone to look as if I'm doing something while eating? Should I read something while eating? Or should I just listen to music?
I swear, I thought of doing all three.
In the midst of cooling my soup and brainstorming, the first 3 mouthful of soup burned my tongue. And everything became crystal clear. The situation was CLEARLY absurd.
JUST EAT! And I did! That meal never felt more spiritual.