throughthelookingglass
about
To be honest there is nothing much about me worth knowing. I live in an island, enjoys being a photographer at times and dance like no one else business. Thats all. I can't think what to write for now so it just stays like this. Welcome to the little life of mine and lets try not to get utterly bored, shall we?

archives


We're all mad here


Saturday, September 13, 2014 @ 9/13/2014 10:02:00 PM

Things I am obsessing about:
1. nyfw
2. Scotland possible independence.
3. murakami's colorless
4. Other people problems

Things I should be obsessing about:
1. Exercise
2. Nm assignment
3. 6 page literature essay with no question
4. Myself
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Wednesday, September 3, 2014 @ 9/03/2014 11:25:00 PM

Just had a stunning tutorial presentation by a student for my Romanticism mod. Super impressed by how he seriously took the time to cross reference sources and got materials to define what is "sonnets". His mini essay includes words like "explicate", "ontological" and "protean" and "polyvalent". WTF right. Talked to him after that and found out that he transferred from NUS Law to do Lit.

Feeling so stressed now to maintain such high standards of presentation for my the subsequent tutorials (mine is on Bronte's 900 page long novel Villette.) So many things to do and I am so lazy. The thing is, I am not even complaining that I am busy because I don't even feel it. Yet.

Thursdays are the worst. Last week Thursday was 9-9 and I'm amazed I live to tell the tale. 6 hours of lectures, 1 hour of tutorial followed by a seminar talk with a Minister from Trade and Industry which I agreed impulsively to cover the event for NES. Ended up making a fool of myself oh wells, at least people and the MP found me funny.

I like to make to-do-list but I never like "to doing" them.

1. Read finish A Portrait of  a Young Man as an Artist. Seriously. It's. Like. The. Last. Few. Pages. Already. Just. Do. It. I am dying because of this book. Mark smartly guessed that I hated it. She called me "traditional" in my taste and I decide to take it as a compliment. While this book is also considered "modernist" in some sense ( modernist =hard to read) I found "lighthouse" hard to read in a good way, but this is just completely repulsive +draining.

2. Catch up on readings. 19th C readings, Einstein's discoveries, NM notes and 20th C's readings of the reading. This is a shitload of readings and I am not even including reading in advance.
3. NM1101E interview assignment due.
4. Churn out MTI article.
5. Churn out content for OCIP website.
6. Prepare crowdfunding content.

Don't feel anything these days except a sense of numbness to "just keep swimming", "just keep swimming". No happiness. No joy. No sadness. No anger. Except a sense of impending doom.
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Monday, September 1, 2014 @ 9/01/2014 08:36:00 PM

Since the assignment is nearly ending. I think I must really count my lucky stars that I managed to (for the first time in my life of doing project group work) find

1. Not one but THREE hardworking teammates.
2. Not only are they hardworking but they all did their parts EFFICIENTLY.
3. extremely talented people in their own way (me included) and thus able to give valuable inputs that really matches their skills.

Feeling so buoyant now :D this is the dream team of project work. Bad thing is, i dont think I will ever come across such a good combination of people again.
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The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
Friday, August 29, 2014 @ 8/29/2014 05:30:00 PM

Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.
...
And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
...

Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

I am reassessing my dislike for Eliot. My prof described Prufrock (that is the persona of the above poem) as a procrastinating indecisive prick whom does not get anything done but spend time deciding what to do. I am more sympathetic of him for a very good reason. Time for you and time for me.
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Monday, August 25, 2014 @ 8/25/2014 09:53:00 PM

I found my dream team. Or at least, I think we are a dream team. Don't dare to say too much or I will curse it.
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completed post!
Thursday, August 21, 2014 @ 8/21/2014 11:33:00 PM

Because you're a sky, you're a sky
full of stars. Such a heavenly view
You're such a heavenly view.

- A Sky Full of Stars, Coldplay

Chris Martin can pull off anything. I am so enthralled :D Nothing much to blog about these days because life has fallen into a routine. Meeting so many new people in such a short span of time has made me dizzy. I want ramen and blackball desserts. I need to stop eating. I need to start sleeping and running. I really want to read "colourless". I NEED MORE TIME!

And Time (t) is very interesting. Taking this physics module on Einstein and the Principle of Relativity had really made me reconsider Time in a whole new perspective. Something about Time Dilation really made me go like WTF in my head. I need to re-read my notes before I can express it better. Equations sadly, don't clarify things for me.

I remembered I left things hanging on this post. HAHA the good thing about routine student life is meeting people to eat during breaks. The bad thing is the opportunity cost of not studying instead during breaks. The no good nor bad moment is the time I spend during lectures which I pay attention to and feel motivated to start studying. Ok wait change to good thing. I enjoy my lit lectures especially Thursdays and Fridays the most. Incidentally, my Thursdays are the most jammed pack ones.  No wait change it to bad because I have so little time to execute my studying so I end up feeling more stressed instead.

Finishing To the Lighthouse, my feelings are all jumbled up. It isn't a pleasant book. It is difficult to read ( i say this constantly because this is really the most striking thing about it for me...) and feels almost pointless to define. I wonder why Woolf committed suicide. Reading her work, I found her to be an incredibly brave women whom possessed razor sharp awareness of herself and the world(s) she lived in. I wonder why she and Plath had to die. While they did commit suicide, I really don't think they choose death. Nobody chooses death. Death chooses you. It doesn't make sense and yet, it isn't suppose to. Any rationalization is insufficient to prove anything because by then, you're already just a dead body.

So perhaps the question is not why did they die but why do anyone choose to live? Reason once again, deals with that of the rational mind so the answer, likewise, is incomplete (if you ask me).

I can only say that up till now, I feel like living. This is my only true answer. It is not the best answer. And until then, if I ever stop feeling this way, it is only right, in some bizarre logical approach, to consider ending it. I once regarded committing suicide like choosing a drink. I daresay my opinion hasn't change yet.

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Wednesday, August 20, 2014 @ 8/20/2014 09:43:00 PM

i am growing increasingly agitated.

Listening to my favourite Joy Division song 'Love Will Tear Us Apart" and thinking how it really make sense because only those things that you love can have the power to tear you apart hahaahha I hope I'm not pointing out a v.DUH point but the fact that "love will tear us apart...again" is very nicely played out in the song is what I utterly love about it especially the starting techno-electronic bit before they begin singing. I always replay that part alone.

So I'm agitated by my speed of reading and have move on to reading 2 books simultaneously now. I never like to do that because one gets all the different characters mix up and storylines too, but I really have no choice. 1 week almost down and I am still left with 11 books. Not very efficient I must say. And don't get me start about the compulsory readings of these readings hahah

UPDATE: Courtesy of 186Bf comments i meant to say reading 2 books concurrently. Needless to say,  I am no Xmen :D. Meanwhile, the wrong use of the word simultaneously also makes me reconsider and think about the relativity of simultaneity. If I am reading nearly as fast as the speed of light then absolute time does not count but instead, depending on my inertial reference frame and 186Bf's observations of my readings, it would have been impossible for both of us to perceive such an event from happening...?
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